Deniss R. Tesdell, a writer and a personal development trainer, International Coach Federation, serve you 10 ways to apologize. Tesdell said, this method can be success depends on the problems, how you do it, who is the person you point to and the situation.

If you really want to apologize, check this Tesdell’s technique:

1. Approaching through phone

Telephone often used as media to apologize which directly to the target. Sometimes phone become the best choice. If you hurt someone feeling and that person are not in town, then an honest apologize will be accepted. Sometimes people not ready to hear an apologize. But, if distance become a problem, your motive will be understood.

2. Write a letter

Write a letter, whether love letter, friendship letter, or letter that express a regrets feelings, could be a big messenger which had a big influence to someone. Letter is so effective especially if you too nervous, had trouble to face someone directly, or live so far from them. It’s so wise if you write the concept first. Finish the concept, allow it a night, then read it again the day after. Make sure that letter really represent your purpose and aim. A quite mind and emotion often makes someone can say something better. Remember, what you write once could be stay “alive" in a long term period. Make sure you ready and prepared every consequence from the letter you write.

3. E-mail or Voicemail

Technology is so helpful and gives you many options to communicate. If you hard to communicate through telephone or letter, or for some reason, you can choose e-mail or voicemail. e-mail or voicemail could be struck you back if the person you sent to just allow it or even let other people read it. If you truly and really want to express what you feel in every word you said or write, you don’t have to worry. If you use voicemail, better you make concept first. The duration time should be 30 – 60 seconds. Watch your intonation.

4. Sent card or gift

Sent flower, card, candy, cookies, fruits, necklace and other gift is an old-fashioned war to apologize. Card could be an impressing media. Now, there are lots of cards with modern design to various occasion. If you use card, don’t forget to put your signature. Watch the situation if you want to add some gifts. If it’s as regards as someone you love, give some “touch”. Give what he/she really like, give something special. Mean while if it’s related to your friends or partner, gift it’s only an option. Ask them to lunch or dinner could be more meaningful.

5. Meet directly

For some people, this can be "scary", just like seeing a ghost. They had trouble if they have too see a disappointed expression. But don’t stop just because you scared. Just face them like you listen an music which you don’t like. Remove all your fear and be altruisticall. Do what your heart said you need to do. At the end, people will respect your courage, even yourself will wee respect your will. Smile friendly, laugh, hand shake, hug, or other friendly and love expression will be so helpful.

6. Through Mediator

Actually, this is not recommended. Especially, if it’s to personal/individual. But, if the situation is impossible, saying apology can be done through this method. Especially if this apology must be done immediately. Don’t expected too much with this method rather than other method.

7. Claim Damages

Just say you’re not break your neighborhood antique flowerpot intuitively, then what are you gona do? First, admit it and responsible for the damage you made. Second, offer her/him a claim damage the same thing or thing has the same value. But, fix "heart broken " or “disappointed feeling” of course, harder. To solve it, you can apologize and ask is there anything you can do to fix this situation. Sometimes, apology with concrete action more well accepted.

8. Open apology

For this one, sometimes we need public suggestion to said it. This apology not only for the person who deal with you, but also need to know to his/her family, friends and business colleague. You can do it through newspaper, billboard, speech at dinner gathering or party. This method is more dramatic cause give you experience in public exposure or public speaking. So, prepare yourself well enough cause this not an easy way.

9. Real Action

Real action : is a technique to do deep kindness to somebody we need to apologize. Contact your business colleague so they sent a garlan , souvenir, new car, paintings, antique furniture or anything appropriate and deign. Sent those things to her/his office or house. Don’t forget give the reason why your do this, so there is no other new misunderstanding. Clear your apology to her/him. Usually real action gives you real result than words.

10. Break Time

Sometimes you feel that you’ve already done many ways to apologize, but still no result. Could be the person too disappointed or don’t want to make any relation again with you. If it’s happens, just leave the problem. People need time accept apologize and to forgive or even not give any forgiveness. Whatever the reason is! Use your deepest assessment. Leave the problem and back to your normal live. Just say to yourself, you have already take responsibility and has already do the best.

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